Memorial service RSVP
Mourners reply quietly, give a count for the reception and can offer the family help.
What's inside
Guests who attend give the size of their party, say whether they'll stay for the reception and whether they'd like to speak. Those who can't attend can leave a few words for the family instead and see a gentle closing message. Anyone can offer help.
- 1Your name
- 2Will you attend the service?Yes, I will be thereI can't be there
- 3How many people in your party, including you?Only if “Will you attend the service?” is Yes, I will be there
- 4Will you stay for the reception?Yes, I'll stayNo, only the serviceOnly if “Will you attend the service?” is Yes, I will be there
- 5Would you like to share a few words during the service?Yes, brieflyNot this timeOnly if “Will you attend the service?” is Yes, I will be there
- 6A few words for the family, if you'd likeOnly if “Will you attend the service?” is I can't be there
- 7Can you help the family?Bring food for the receptionHelp set up the hallDrive someone to the service
Arranging replies for a memorial
A form spares a grieving family from counting replies across texts, calls and messages. Ask a friend or relative to send the link and read the replies, so the closest family doesn't have to.
Memorials are often arranged within one to three weeks, so send the link as soon as the date is set. The reception count is the number the caterer or the volunteers bringing food need.
The question about sharing a few words gives the person leading the service a list in advance. Offer a time limit in your reply to speakers, two or three minutes each, so the service keeps its shape.
Offers of help often go unused because nobody coordinates them. Pass the food, setup and driving answers to one person who can make the calls. For those who can't attend, share the condolence book.
Memorial service RSVP questions
Is a form appropriate for a memorial?
Many families find it easier than answering dozens of calls. Keep the wording simple and send it from a family member's or friend's account, the same way you would send the details by email. A line in the intro saying who is gathering the replies helps guests know their words reach the right person, and lets them call that person with any question.
Can I change the wording for a funeral or a religious service?
Yes. Change the title, the intro and the questions to fit your tradition. The logic follows the answers, not their words. If there is a burial, add a question about who will come to the graveside, which helps with cars and parking. Rename the reception to the word your family uses, such as a wake, a repast or a meal of condolence.
Who sees the replies?
Only whoever saved the form. Replies are not shown to other guests. Speakers don't see each other's answers either, so whoever leads the service can set the order and tell each person privately when they will speak. A note left for the family stays between the guest, the family and the person collecting the replies.
- Online condolence bookFriends near and far leave condolences in one place the family can keep.
- Baptism RSVPGuests confirm for the church and the lunch, so both counts are right.
- Bar or bat mitzvah RSVPGuests reply for the service and the party, and teens are counted for the kids' room.
- Memorial photo collectionFamily and friends send photos with the year and a caption for the slideshow.
- First communion RSVPFamilies reply for the Mass and the party, and kids are counted for the games table.
- Vow renewal RSVPGuests reply, and those who were at the original wedding share a memory of it.
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